Since retiring from public education in 2007 I have had several different part time jobs to keep me occupied and supplement our income. A little over a year ago, I was working two different jobs and each gave me flexibility with my schedule. What a blessing. As it always happens, circumstances changed and I was asked to work more hours at one of these jobs but in a different capacity. It seemed to be a great fit for me. I prayed about it and it became clear that God wanted me to follow this path. It was even confirmed to me a few weeks later when things changed dramatically at that other job and it would have been a situation that would not have been good. Everything seemed to be great. I was following where God wanted me to go, I would be working directly with people, and I would have a steady work week with 25 hours that would give me flexibility and extra income. Soon, however, I began to realize that the situation was not going to be great after all. Tension in the office, processes put in place which made the job difficult, promised resources not coming through and monotonous procedures.
I began asking God what was going on. I knew He had placed me there but only to be disappointed? (by the way, this was the second time in my life I was keenly aware that God placed me in an unpleasant work setting) One day as I pondered and prayed about it, God gently reminded me that being in His will is not always comfortable. He let me know that Rachel may not like it but He knows what He is doing. Perhaps it wasn’t about me liking what I am doing but there are people He was putting in my path that need something. I think this is definitely one of those times that God is asking me to be content in unpleasant circumstances. Paul writes about this very thing from his prison cell in Philippians 4:11-13
We need to remember though that God does not want us to be discouraged or unhappy. That is one of Satan’s biggest lies. God is not punishing me but has a greater purpose than what I can see. I trust that. He says so. Instead of asking WHY, I am asking WHAT. WHAT does God want to teach me? WHAT is He trying to do in me? WHAT is He trying to do through me?
As I pray Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me, I am sure of this: either my circumstance will change or my heart toward it will.
Thank you God for your unwavering truth.